Sooner or later, most of us will want or need support from others to pursue our goals or bring about change. Maybe it’s asking your manager for a promotion, or talking to your partner about a career step that could significantly impact your time, finances, or location. Whatever your goal, it’s likely the stakes feel high and you want the conversation to go well. So, how can you maximise your chance of succeeding? Quite easily, in fact. And it all comes down to a little bit of planning and preparation (like oh so many things in life, it seems).
Without further ado, here are our top tips to help you nail your next important conversation.
- Prepare for it, just like you would for an important meeting or presentation.
- Stand in the shoes of the other. The better you can understand their point of view and perspective, the more you’ll be able to create the opportunity to influence. Ask yourself “what’s in it for them”? How might they benefit from helping or supporting you? Consider what you want them to (a) THINK, (b) FEEL, and (c) DO after speaking to you. Write it down.
- Think about your intention for the conversation and the impact you want to have. Write it down.
- If you believe nerves might be a factor, take time to prepare yourself mentally, emotionally and physically. Make sure you’ve slept, eaten, and breathed deeply … By all means pick a “good” day but don’t let this be an excuse to put the chat off entirely!
- Break it up if you need to. A conversation doesn’t have to have its beginning, middle and end in one sitting. Better to pause and regroup, rather than go too far or off the rails in one sitting. It’s very reasonable to say “let’s pause this for now, give us both a chance to think a bit more and revisit tomorrow/next week”.
- Pick a suitable setting. Sitting in the park might be better than making a phone call while you’re on the bus. Going out for coffee might be better than sitting across a desk.
- Listen actively to what the other person is saying. Make sure they feel heard, even if or particularly if you aren’t in agreement with them. Show that you are listening – build on their ideas, repeat back to check understanding, let them finish their sentences, keep eye contact, and be warm if appropriate.